Just before the New Year, social media was buzzing with people who were SO excited for a fresh start…. New Year’s resolutions flew off the pages…. Everyone was sharing their “word” for the year.
I have to be honest – I worried I was being negative – but this overwhelming discomfort overcame me. After years of studying this time of year, I know the pattern that people follow after making their New Year’s goals.
In less than TWO WEEKS from right now, the ‘word’ fades, the justifications are at an all time high and it’s just a matter of days before the goals are totally a thing of the past.
Ack! I know that’s harsh, but you want me to tell you the truth right?
Worse, this experience — which feels like someone took the air out of your balloon — typically causes people to feel awful about themselves for weeks or even months. Many coaches or authors won’t resume “real” work until March when they feel ready to move forward again.
There is no time to waste.
I see with great clarity now why resolutions don’t work for most people, AND exactly how you can make yours work for you!
Why Most Goals and Resolutions Don’t Work
- You’ve set so many goals all at once you collapse under pressure
- You’ve set extremely high goals that are unreachable (like stop doing ____ cold turkey) – again, you collapse under pressure
- You forgot to factor in “life” – the stuff that pops up out of nowhere and gets you sidetracked
… that’s just scratching the surface.
How to Make Your Goals and Resolutions Achievable
What if instead of telling yourself, “I’m going to organize my Inbox, I’m going to lose 30 pounds, I’m going to stop eating sugar, I’m going to play more, I’m going to read 50 books this year,” – whatever your goals are…
…what if instead you just cleared the noise and ask yourself one question, all the time, for everything?
- “Is this how I want to show up in the world?”
Holy cow, that’s a powerful question. I started asking myself that when I was 16 years old and want to tell you it is the single reason I have built the life I’m so proud of today.
When you reach for that milkshake, or get lazy on the couch, or let the emails pile up… ask yourself, “Is this how I want to show up in the world?”
You see, there’s a whole different type of accountability that occurs with this question. It’s soul accountability and you can’t deny your truth.
There is no justifying it with, “Oh, I’ll do ___ tomorrow … I’m tired today.”
the way you want to be remembered as a human,
or you’re not.
Christine Kane wrote an article titled, “Lose the New Year’s Resolutions & Create Real Success in 2015.” Here again, she suggests that most people don’t hit their goals because they are focused on what they want to “do” instead of focusing on who they want to “be.”
I urge you to sit with this message for a little bit before you zip off to do something else.
Really consider the goals you’ve set for yourself and ask if there’s anything you can tweak or adjust to reduce the pressure.
I’m not suggesting you can’t achieve the very high goals you set for yourself
– OF COURSE YOU CAN!
I’m just suggesting maybe there is a better way to hit those goals … without maxing out the anxiety and stress you feel – without adding ten layers of guilt on top.
What do you think? Have you approached your goals in a way that empowers you or stresses you out? Leave a comment below and let’s get the real conversation started!