Someone Else is Doing What I Wanted to Do! I’m Feeling Discouraged and Confused. Help!

I can take it to the bank that just before someone’s website goes live, this feeling comes up. In doing research for competitor websites, or looking for content ideas, we see the glorious web stars who already have done what we want to do. Depression sets in. We start questioning everything we thought we knew. We doubt that we are headed in the right direction. We question if we should stop pursuing this idea and think of a new one.

self-loveA harsh reality is that you’re not the first person to come up with your concept. Just like I couldn’t have thought I’d be the first to offer website services.

And when we start a business, or write a book – and we are at the very beginning stages, we are so new that anytime we see someone doing what we want to do, we feel like dog crap and beat ourselves up. Feeling we missed the boat – why try? Oh yes, I’ve had my own meltdown about this – just last July in fact.

It tortured me so much to e-meet Marie Forleo. UGG, she was doing exactly what I had planned to do with her “B School”!! I had my entire ecourse outlined and ready to shoot hours of video but seeing her B School promos practically paralyzed me from pursuing that idea any further.

I cried and cried, then created a free downloadable product based on my experience – Talking Back to Your Inner Critic

I realized it was my Inner Critic trying to beat me down, once again. Telling me “why do it? it’s already been done!” and “you can’t do that, someone else is already doing it better. they know more than you and look better than you and have the following you don’t have. you suck.”

True story.

Through that experience, I realized that if I named those feelings and insecurities that were coming up – calling it my “Inner Critic” – then I could separate myself from those thoughts and not let it penetrate me. No more.

Back to this competitor you found. I’m sure their website is awesome. Their content rocks. They have great products and programs. Their videos are spot on.

But guess what? That person does NOT have, nor could ever have, the unique spin on your topic that only you have inside you. It’s impossible!

There will always be others teaching your topic — but you have the vast opportunity to impact a global audience with your message which will heal SO many lives! There is plenty of space on the planet for you and your competitor to be successful. I might invite you to even contact that person and try to line up a joint teleseminar. Once your blog is humming, you’re rocking social media, contact that person and get to know him/her! Then do a joint teleseminar and infiltrate their already humming audience.

The bottom line is that this is a test. A test to see if you really want it and are really willing to put in the work. If you’re ready, then let your Marie Forleo (she is freaking fantastic by the way) motivate the hell out of you. Get the content done, get your website up and start doing what you’ve been dreaming of all along.

Do not worry – what you feel is 100% normal. We’ve all been there. Maybe this makes for a great blog post or two or three? If you know this is common, you can find a solution (as I did with the Inner Critic audio) and even create a product out of it.

What are you learning in this experience? How will you let it control your outcome?

If you think my style of coaching combined with my web experience may be just what you need to get to that next level in your business, contact me and ask to receive our PDF menu of services.

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  1. Melissa on April 1, 2018 at 8:39 pm

    Thank you for this post! I’m right at this phase and I definitely needed to hear this. I’ve also signed up for your Inner Critic download.

    • Amber Vilhauer, Online Marketing & Sales Business Coach on April 2, 2018 at 9:14 am

      Oh I’m so happy to help Melissa! The more we get exposed to social media, the more we can feel ‘in doubt’ or concerned, confused, fearful and insecure about our direction or goodness. The reality is, we all have room to be super successful in this life. So No Guts No Glory! Go after your dreams and ideas – and give it everything you’ve got! 🙂

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